To claim things as one's own

I have felt lately that time has been slipping away from me, like too-small grains in a large colander. I have no time to do anything, and often I don't even try. I do not try to squeeze things in. I fill the day like a jam jar, sloppily and often without real interest. I wonder where this has come from, and I think it may be because my partner has a full-time job, while I am studying. It feels sometimes that time belongs to him, while I am only permitted the leftovers, the dregs of the day. This is not the case, I know, but only my perception of our situation, the way in which time slices up between us.

Perhaps this feeling of time being properly owned by others is something that affects women unduly: first loud boys at school, and then maybe by your own children at some stage. It is amazing how easily I allow time to unravel from myself, like diving into a pool and dissolving entirely. Other people must feel this way too.